And When I’m Old

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And when I’m old, waves folded over me,
I’ll rock on lime green rudder, banded pier.
Memories brushed with foam and washed to sea
as shadows stretch beneath sun’s hot veneer.
A giant’s head once cast on fine-grained sand
with shards of shell, each broken dream broadcast,
my hands, my feet, my soul, my heart now stand
bared all to you, imprinted fragments fast.
Through wisps of sea grass bent by breath from far
beyond my eyes and mind’s percipience,
I leave behind that which I cannot bear,
relief’s great sigh, my fate without defense.
As sunset fades from blue to blackest hue,
I close, sweet day, and reach my cherished truth.

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Author’s Note:

My trip to Orlando, Florida and the Wizarding World of Harry Potter brought such joy I felt like I was a First Year at Hogwarts.

It was a time to revel in the magic of places where good and evil clash. It is a place to remember where cherished ones are lost in noblest, as well as cruelest, of ways. It is life. That is the brilliance of Harry Potter. Love wins.

A trip to the beach while the “kids” were playing brought about time and images for me to try out a sonnet, my first.

There are blessings in struggle, releasing against the sea to become One again. To hear the sound. To watch the little crab. To be tickled by seaweed and warm water washing your toes.

I discovered once more that even though I am not of this warm ocean, I am of big water.

May you live each day in wonder.
May you smile at the smallest of things.
May you honor the Power of passion
in your life in all you do.

Amen. Amen. Amen.

Munay,
Lexanne

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Orange Cough Syrup

In the basement of Woolworth’s 5 & Dime,
my fingers trace the shape of a white glazed horse,
pink feathered mane, rose rhinestones glued
to fuchsia felted pillion, gold rope bridled.
A perfect foal. My rider’s dream
on Sixteenth Street and Champa.

When I was seven the Saturday bus delivered me
from Gus’ Gas Station. Past the Platte River where
industry’s waste was shlepped downstream.
Over a bridge to dodge tracks of trains.
Then ousted me onto the one way streets
of Downtown Denver.

The Paramount Theater, my first stop,
a darkened cavern with closing credits
lighting my way. I always was quick to grab
a left center seat before the next show.

At movie’s end, a stroll past windows dressed,
The Denver Dry’s and Nuesetter’s dolls, all
perfect women in pill box hats and pearls.
Endpoint – my soda fountain finale.

Mother gave me ‘a little extra,’ a treat to buy
the pony enchanted within my dreams.
My choices, each lined up next to the other,
in colors matching dispositions unaltered,
blue was for boys. Yellow too bright.
Purple only given slight consideration.
Orange, the flavor of my winter cough syrup.
And red annoyingly sat on my best friend’s dresser.

I wonder if I, too, am just a category on a Woolworth
shelf? What I do, what I say never altered. One type
to be counted on, always the same without fail?
Am I only understood because I am pink,
never more than a Woolworth tchotcke?

I want to believe God is more creative than that.

I want to believe I am more, not bred to fill one slot
on a five and dime shelf just to be easy for others.

I like to think I can be orange one day,
even if I don’t like orange cough syrup.

I like to think God takes much delight in me
as I hand two dollars and fifty cents plus tax
to the cashier for the red one, the color
of tiny cinnamon dots that stain as they melt
in my fist on summer vacation.

 

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Author’s Note:

Sonnets. Oh.

I was lucky to take a quick class on sonnet writing this past weekend at Lighthouse Writer’s Workshop. It was taught by Kim Addonizio. She was wonderful. I was inspired…again.

Oh, I try and try to work with poetic forms. I know I will grow as a writer if I stay focused and try. I try. And fail miserably. It just does not make sense to me.

My dear friend who attended the workshop with me suggested I steep myself in reading one form for a while and I will begin to understand. This is the plan. A book of contemporary sonnets.

The above poem is NOT a sonnet, or even tries to be. It is, however, inspired from a book gifted to me by my dear friend: The Poet’s Companion – A Guide to the Pleasure of Writing Poetry by Kim Addonizio and Dorianne Laux.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Amalgamation

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And Old Rock Man
titling to sleep, slack jawed,
eyes hallow, blue lichen
dotting rims and ridges,
I hear him laugh while years
speed as he attends, baked
under sun, iced with snow,
quenched in spring drizzle

Open palmed, eyes closed,
I feel the patter of your elfin
droplets yield their kisses,
then race to become more than I
can grasp, finally a watercourse
running through my fingers
unable to bear your presence

While braggarts and buffoons
hold court on stages
dealing fear to anyone
who will take the draw

But you and I ask,
seek and find the open door
where you and I and Old Rock Man
dance under skies harboring
moon’s extravagance and
stars’ wildness as rain
washes us away

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Author’s Note:

 

These weeks roll on.

And I wonder what the outcome of this political season of fear will produce.

But there is always hope, tenderness in the smallest of gestures.

In the madness of this week I was presented with a gift. There was a sweet and gentle apology that maybe it should have been more colorful and soft, maybe sparkly. But what was given is rough and worn, aged with wisdom.

It holds ancient stories.

It’s been a while since I’ve regularly visited Sunday scripture readings. For this Sunday I again find that the words surround me with pain and fear, all of that which I chose to leave behind. But as I dig through, I find the much needed balm. Maybe the simple voice that needs to be heard through all the words, the words that declare we are sinners. Within peaks out the real nugget. From Sodom and Gomorrah to transgressions and uncircumcised flesh all the way to the final test and selfishness, somewhere within all that hurtful dressing, I find the wisdom of our ancient but ever present shaman, Jesus.

I must open my heart enough to set my agenda aside and simply ask for what I need. When I ask, I surrender myself. I depend on Someone else. I wash my hands of trying to do it all, to be perfect. I let down my guard, release ego from its post, relax into Spirit’s arms. And once I am there, with a great deep inhale filling my lungs to capacity and then blowing out my designs, I make room for truth. I clear the smoke to be able to see.

I am loved, always have been, always will be.

I don’t need the facade of dressing up. I don’t need the filling of my ego’s bottomless cup from other sources or even with my own deeds.

I am simply enough.

Rough and worn and a bit ragged, but wiser for the wear. And stories to tell, ancient and wonderful.

May you reach to the ancients
for our Wisdom, digging
through the trappings
to find our Beautiful Mystery.

May you reach into your heart
for there is our Light shining
to illuminate our way together.

May you reach to another’s hand,
join the dance with those
who have gone before on a path
well worn but resplendent and
wide enough for all.

Amen. Amen. Amen.

Happy Full Moon Blessings,

Lexanne

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Amalgamation Choir | Live at the Library – Ksenitia tou Erota

In Your Light

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When I look at you
delicate unfolding
there is more, always more
a breath of flight
alights unseen until
I exhaust what I only
choose to see

You unfurl not in
beauty as I would define
not in softness but
in strength until I move to
see more deeply
beyond what I think
You are there, also

In wind I
watch you bend
air passes over me
through me
fills me with grace
until all I can do
is bend myself
to the ground
in reverence

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From Your hand 
sky to dust
air to earth
rain to sea
Your face passes by
each moment
an invitation to be
held in delirium
if I choose
intoxication
over pride

May I
launder my soul
in Your clemency

May I
rush into Your arms
cowardliness relieved
of its stand

May I
be the Joy that is me
Your gift passionately
entrusted

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Author’s Note:

Je suis epuise.

Before this line came across my Face Book page from Huffington Post earlier in the day I wrote:


 “I am exhausted. The killing, the violence, vicious and unsympathetic politicians, lost souls who don’t know how to love themselves so they wound others – I must step away from this or drown in the mire. We must move forward in love – love all – even the vicious. It’s the only way out of this. There is no separation. We are all One. Until we put down our own wants and needs and demands to have it our way, we won’t see that we must release into the unknown with trust and love the beautiful souls we are so we can see that Light in others. There is no other way. Put down fear, hatred, condemnation, anger, the smugness we Americans seem to think is our right. There is nothing to “win”, no need to be the “best” or “right” or  “number one.” Be love and sweetness even when people say you are crazy. You aren’t. You are simply following the root command – love one another. Period. And your ripple will join others. And the world will change.”

Until we truly see the beauty in the world and know, really know and understand, that it is within us, we will continue to harm others as we walk through our day. From small quips, to manipulating others, to killing someone because they don’t believe what we believe, the world will continue to turn this way.

Instead, look deeply inside yourself. Blow away the smoke. Spirit awaits you. Forget the books, the mentors, the words, words, words, words. Put down the study. Still yourself. Listen to your Heartbeat. It’s the same one inside ALL of us. Do no harm to yourself, and you will not be able to harm others.

Amen.

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smoke
choreographed by MATS EK
performed by SYLVIE GUILLEM e NIKLAS EK

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en pointe

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I watch her rise
stillness in breath
held without fail
lift entrusted
free as if ground nor gravity exist
deeply rapt within her belief

as my garden grows
released to its wild self
sweet peas braid delicate arms
around iris faded
flowers of sun gold reach
unbound while white trimmed
daisies sway underneath
each melding into the other
no circumscription set

I am not given to order
or rule, I am made for feral beauty
I wish to voyage with you as equal
each of us rising to the sun
witness rays given in time
each in our own time and liturgy
welcome wisps of wind
consider kiss of raindrops
knowing all is right
as long as all
are fully honored,
you and I and All

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Author’s Note:

I have a strong urge right now to turn off the news, shut down social media, and hide away until it gets better. It is tempting to close my eyes and say, “Enough, I cannot take it any longer.”

Then comes the phone call and I realize I cannot hide. More tests are needed. I have been given a pause. Again, I don’t know why I am spared and not others. I do not have breast cancer. In those dark moments of this long week I was able to stand still and strong knowing to hide is not the answer.

 

May we fill the world
with our stillness
so strength is gathered
and ready when needed.

May we fill the world
with a touch so gentle
that pain is eased,
even for a moment’s rest.

May we fill the world
with something beautiful,
so Beauty is remembered,
not forgotten in smoke and haze.

May we not hide,
but stand tall, stand still,
as hopeless as it may seem,
we are a mighty ripple in the pond.

Amen. Amen. Amen.

 

Munay,

Lexanne

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Sting and Alessandra Ferri: Ageless Grace