I feel that pull again
simplify
stop gathering
breathe
rest

You see I’ve worked my time

I’ve played the games
I wanted to be noticed
Seen, acknowledged
Let people know I know what I’m doing
Manipulate my life into what I think I want
Control the outcome, control everything

When that ends
there is peace
a quiet to hear
frogs, yes, frogs
I’ve never heard before

When that other stuff ends
I reside in what has been given
Wet sidewalks after spring rain
Running brook that last week was dry
Mother Tree, always
Ravens who now come when I am present
Deer scat in the middle of suburbia
A moon so bright it wakes me up
Snow so deep with sideway winds
our aspen takes its last bow
Squirrels to taunt my Bean

And yet I continue to gather
stuff, new now
paint brushes, canvas
ads for collage
containers, easels
stones and bells and candles
and statues and rattles and drums
and crystals and scarves and
journals and meetings
and Zoom calls
all blessings, yes
yes
yes

But..

My space gets smaller
inside and out
tighter, less room to breathe

I’ve worked my time.

There is freedom calling

Freedom that asks just to sit
Not mediate
Not journal
Not journey
Not chant
Not sing
Not pray

Just sit
Listen
Be grateful

I’ve worked my time

It’s time