Spring awakens a childish impatience.
Cool moist soil calls for roots
to grow deeply, nourish
stem and vine.
My thoughts focus forward
on that first luscious bite,
a juicy veneer down my chin,
the cardinal tomato chaw.
I am revived each harvest
after officiating the seeding.
But it doesn’t start with seed
or harvest’s nosh.
It is not the action, movements
I repeat presupposing I create.
I step back, return within,
Earth issues the design.
Roots compelled to dig deeply,
take hold and fill themselves
to thicken stem to tenure leaves
to pop sweet buds where bloom
will ensue to offer fruit
to fill my belly.
It begins where I cannot see,
but where I yield.
The work is compulsory
not for product, but benevolence
for season of bird and insect,
tree and star – each morsel magnified
by one rooted slip.
I cannot propagate, help or heal
unless I have cultivated Me.
It is not what I do for the world to
see, ego pressing me on.
It is not bold and righteous
indignations, ego standing tall.
It is my small quivering voice
answering Your call that I
may fall in love with Me,
the one You created,
deeply and passionately.
In consummation ego will abandon
its lien and You will outbloom
I am beginning to understand that it is not what I do but how deeply I love that will attend the shift. It does no good to step out armed with ego’s chatter to change the world. Too many are injured when ego is in control.
It is hard to quiet ego, keep it at bay. But when it can be wrangled into a bit of rest, leaving it aside, there is room for roots to take hold. Roots that will grow deeply and thrive in Love.
Even more difficult is where I have to start. That place can only be with learning to love myself. For if I am vessel for the Divine, there is only one way for me to honor that. I must love myself first, as I am loved. Then the Divine flows from me, not in my way, but in full compassion for all – even to those who are formidable. I must remember, they are containers, too.
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Today’s photos, the crow and the seashell, don’t seem kindred to the text. They are. My trip to Seattle a few weeks ago gave me a freedom to discover much in myself. Crow flew by me as I drove to beaches and along lush roadways, sat by me as I rested on driftwood, walked with me in small town harbors. I was alone for two days on this journey, yet crow was there at each turn.
The shell and tiny flowers sat at the edge of a forested area near a harbor on a handrail. It was a Sunday and the altar was set by someone, it seemed just for me and my ceremony.
There I confirmed my call to nature is the ocean, not mountain. Surprising since I am a Denver “native.” I will head the call.