Lost and Found

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I lost my religion…

…and found God

I put down the book
too many words flew at me
I read it through
sought their meaning
tried to unscramble code
designed by those
who deem themselves
the only ones who know

I stepped out of grey clouds
covering me with verity
I knew the rules
followed the letter of the law
ignored with guilt and hid
from those who judge
right from wrong

I took off my watch
too much time
spent in
defense

I let walls crumble
my lifted ego dropped
fractured into shards

A pause for breath
boundless freedom found
I don’t have to be
anything
but me

Now I peel layers
to reach the epicenter
one fragrant petal
at a time

There awaits
one canon for all

My beating heart
my dearest friend
my Beloved
always there

There the source
no addendums
explanations
no middle men to confer grace
no fear of doing something wrong
no ceremony where perfect words
grapple in contention
where right dogmas altercate
where gods’ egos clash

It is as simple
as yes and no
no shades of in between and
more difficult than it seems

As the gentlest shaman offered
…remember the root command
love one another…

I now know how to stand
begin anew
one simple movement
one simple thought

love God
love others
love myself

As I breathe out,
God breathes in
an immutable espousal

here I begin…

.

.

.

Author’s Note:

For more on this poem, visit JOURNEY/lex.

Diviation

It was a mud pie, dusty ground swirledDSCN1255
into water from a brass nozzle. I mixed
a thick concoction to please my eye.
Delicious would never be an
accurate description.

I found the ones that sparkled
hidden among plain granite pebbles,
quartz chips, slips of mica, only those
that caught my eye were treasure
for my pocket.

I peddled hard uphill, long
and slow, patient for the payback,
quick though it be, a fly down,
foot push paused, eyes squinting
against summer air across my face.

Ease of childhood’s wonderment
weeps efficiently through my grasp
to leave behind hardened opinions,
germane novelties, stilled wheels.

I set aside wide-eyed wonders
where magician coins awed,
grass stained knees scouted out
crawlies, tender arms rocked
a goodnight tale. I forgot
there is no need to orchestrate.

I turn back, shake off the dust,
open my palms,
liberate my tunnel vision
to meet your sweetness
once again,
eternal anticipation
of my return.

.

.

.

Author’s Note:

“Truly I tell you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will never enter it.” Mark 10:15

As I grew into adulthood, I left behind something dear. The wonder of play and nature became a frivolous activity left for vacation time. But the more tragic part of growing up was assuming that I needed to control my life. I forgot the freedom of leaving my worries in the hands of someone more compassionate and wiser and loving than myself. I forgot there is Someone who knows me inside out, my needs, and what I can be.

I believe our Holy One gave us our child time to get good practice in surrender, leaving worry to itself. It was the time to trust and learn to live with abandon the gifts we’ve been given.

May I fall back into childhood simplicity,
that I may see your face, feel your embrace
and know all is well.

Amen. Amen. Amen.

Lexanne