Sweet Peas

I saw you today
Laughing and joking with the girls
You were so happy
I didn’t know you then
I think you had fun being yourself
Without the fences

I imagine you during the war washing spark plugs
Laughing and joking with the girls
You were happy

I imagine you skiing down the hill
Riding the trolley

You didn’t have a chance to stay on that road
The times
The haunting
I guess you needed someone to take care of you
The fences

I did know you tap dancing in the kitchen
“I’m an old cowhand…”
Planting sweet peas
Teaching me to sew
The bingo games
I think you were happy

I did see the fences
The new jobs –
the snowmobile place, candling chicken eggs
The haunting

I saw you today
I shook my new red hair
I know you saw me

I saw you
Laughing and joking with the girls
You were so happy

Author’s Note:
I finally gathered the courage to dye my hair red. Well, not as red as I could, but it was a big step for me. Also, I had a new cut. It felt good. I spent a busy day and fell asleep in my comfy chair in my bedroom. I had a dream. I saw my mom, who passed away about eights years before, as a young woman working in a diner. She was a waitress, something she never did, and was having the time of her life laughing and joking with her friends. She saw me out of the corner of her eye and I shook my new hair cut for her to notice. I guess I wanted her approval. I know she saw me but she disappeard through a door. This dream was the inspiration for my poem. I woke up and quickly jotted down the emotions and images it painted for me. I guess I never really new if my mom had much of a happy life. What I call “the haunting” encased her in mental illness. My dad put “fences” around her to protect her. We had some happy and silly times, but I always felt she was in pain her entire life. Mom’s dream let me know that she is now having fun and doing what she wants without any interference from anyone or anything.