Nessun Dorma

Driving through the fog I felt my front tires hit a bump. 

I slammed on the breaks. Now the questions started. Do I keep going? If I keep going, will I drive over what I just drove over a second time? Do I get out and see what it was? Will I get hit by oncoming traffic? Oh, god, if I’m stopped in this fog am I going to get rear ended? 

It’s amazing how quickly one’s mind can go through a myriad of questions. One leading to the next while you begin to race out of control.

Closing my eyes, I let out a deep sigh and opened the car door.

I opened my eyes. All I could see was a bright light glaring at me. I can’t remember if I chose not to move or simply couldn’t. 

I looked to my right, just moving my eyeballs. Then to the left. All there was was a glow. It wasn’t harsh or too bright, just enough to block anything else.

There was a faint something else, music I couldn’t quite make out. I closed my eyes to help me concentrate. I always close my eyes when people read to me or I when I want to focus on some sound. Like opera. Closing my eyes is like a filter and a projection screen all rolled into one. I close my eyes to see.

 

I close my eyes to see more clearly
A way to block out the unnecessary
Too many memories clutter the present
Too many worries hide the truth
A way to social distance my worries
A mask to keep me safe

I close my eyes to see more clearly

In dark I see more clearly
Making space for what is needed
Not what has been devised
Though I wonder if I am missing something
I wonder if I don’t want to see
Or is it that small light that burns in the night of inside
Can only illumine what is necessary
Not of my choosing

I close my eyes to see more clearly.

If I am truthful with myself
I clutter to avoid
I stack and pile so I don’t have to see
It’s better to hit the bump and stop
In the fog
Than continue blindly on

I close my eyes to see more clearly.

 

When I opened my eyes, the fog had lifted. Just that quickly. Close. Open. And a memory of something nudged at me.

I stepped away the car being careful to check for traffic this early morning to see what it was I hit. Just a hole. Tires okay. 

Back in the car I continued on my way. I turned on the radio to hear Bocelli singing Nessun dorma. It would be with me to my end destination.

As I drove it was the music instead of my eyes to close around me. To focus me on the present. To see what I needed to see. To realize what I had to do.

If given the chance, I will do it all over again.

Author’s Note:

Writing from today’s Afternoon Writer’s prompt:

  • Opening Line: Driving through the fog I felt my front tires hit a bump.
  • Closing Line: If given the chance, I would do it all over again.

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