Reverb10 – December 21 – Future Self

Prompt: Future self. Imagine yourself five years from now. What advice would you give your current self for the year ahead? (Bonus: Write a note to yourself 10 years ago. What would you tell your younger self?)
Dear Me,
         You know exactly what and where you want to be in five years.  Retired. Now this doesn’t mean you won’t be working a job. Think realistically. But you will not have the day-to-day misery of school administration and legislatures condemning your every move, demanding you do more, and not valuing your insight and knowledge and ability as a teacher.  It doesn’t matter what part-time job you will be doing. Hopefully some kindergarteners somewhere will be playing with you, acting out stories, writing, and creating with abandon. Now is the time to get ready.
         You’re already planning for the shortfall in health insurance when you retire at 59 and not getting Medicare until 65. It may or may not be enough.  You are doing all that you can do.  Let it go.
         You are taking care of yourself. You are back at Weight Watchers. You are going to be there the rest of your life and it is a good thing. Even if you never make lifetime, the weekly meetings keep you in line and give you support. You need the support.  In a way, it’s another form of health insurance. You need it.  Stop moaning about it and accept it. It is the way it is and it’s good for you.
         You are learning new creative ways to express yourself. Remember that it really is all about the process. Take your time and enjoy learning Photoshop and how to develop your own style of digital art. Don’t try to be someone else. Be yourself.  After all, your creations are for you and it’s all about exploring yourself and the world given to you.  Enjoy the process.
         Write. Write. Write. Write.  You are preparing your creative space starting today for writing, jewelry, collage and digital art. Try to keep it simple so you can always have what you need at hand.  Try to be a bit more tidy.  I know you love the Chinese symbol you have hanging on your classroom wall – “Chaos.  From chaos great things are born.”  But you now are working out of a smaller space and you feel better when things have some order.  I know you are a messy creative, but sometimes we have to change. Change is good and you will be the better for it. Get over it. 
         Are you starting to see a pattern here?
         Stop trying to control things that don’t matter.  God has given you a beautiful life. Enjoy it.  That is your job right now and forever. 
-Enjoy your kindergarteners. They love you. Give them your best and forget about the other stuff you can’t control. 
-Take care of yourself physically and the emotional part will ease. Eat right and keep up the support line; walk, you don’t have to be a “Colorado Crazy”, just walk and enjoy Bremen and the beautiful world outside. 
-Play.  Be creative and share it just because.  Not because you are going to get rich or famous or get ooos and ahhhs.  Share it because it means something to you – beautiful or not – light or dark.  It is part of you. People don’t have to understand.
-Love. Love Leroy and Dad and Bremen and every soul you come across on the street.  We are here together and created by the same God, even though we may see Him, or Her, through a different lens.  Enjoy the differences and pray for understanding. 
This is your wise woman speaking. 
Remember that promise you made a few days ago? 
Now, let’s get out there and live!

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