Reverb10 – December 19 – Healing

It grew.
Noxious, pestilent
turning and twisting.
Unseen, underground,
wrapping around and through.
Searching for the perfect spot,
the right time,
the vulnerable position to commandeer,
to choke,
to destroy.
Mortal triumph.
The descent.
First, poison to wither, tame,
not eradicate.
Then, masterful hands,
growing life.
Snipping, digging, rooting out
the sardonic grip.
The rains came.
Awakening the stillness,
nurturing, rekindling.
Flushing away the fear.
Her lavender flags,
stately and resilient,
beckoning me back to the soil.
It’s time to plant.
To grow strong.
To be nourished.
To be alive.
Lexanne Leonard
June 2005
            I wrote this poem following a bout with cancer.  The tumor was found as what seemed by accident, yet it I don’t believe it was an accident.  I was lifted up and cared for through the entire process by an amazing husband, loving family, incredible friends, and an army of angels who protected and kept me company the entire time.   This poem tells of my walk through finding the tumor, radiation, surgery by a master who was pregnant at the time, and the spring rains that followed.  The purple iris came from my deceased mother-in-law’s garden.  They bloomed in my garden that spring with her blessing urging me to get back to what I love doing. 
            I’ve never been a very active and physical person, though I was a good walker, loved to ride my bike, and enjoy splashing in a pool.  Following radiation, I’ve had a hard time coming back into “shape.”  But this year made me realize that I must try harder.  This will be seven years when I take my yearly CAT scan in late January.  The form of cancer I had has a tendency to rear its ugly head again 7 to 10 years down the road.  So I am working harder to keep myself healthy.
            This year I joined Weight Watchers, again.  I injured my knee in August and am just now able to walk with ease.  So this Winter Break, I am starting my daily walking again.  I have scar tissue from the radiation and have found that massage is making my sore hips almost a thing of the past.  I also realize that stress plays a big part in my health and I must find ways to conquer the burden.
            I am on my way to a healthier me.  I am losing weight, exercising, and getting regular massages.  I am even learning how to handle the enormous amount of stress in my job by focusing on my writing and other creative endeavors.  And I look forward to good news from my CAT scan in just over a month.  

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